BEER IS BETTER THAN WOMEN BECAUSE...
A good beer is never flat.
Beer doesn't expect an hour of foreplay before satisfying you.
A beer would never choose a romantic classic over a good porn flick.
A beer doesn't notice if you get turned on by other beers.
Beer never bugs you to have little beers.
You can try dark beers and lite beers without upsetting your parents.
A beer doesn't make you feel inadequate if you have a problem getting it opened.
you can try exotic foreign beers without having neighbors worry about property values.
You don't have to explain 500 times why going to a nude beach is better than going to the opera.
A beer doesn't change its mind after you've already taken its top off.
You don't have to drive a beer home at 3 o'clock in the morning.
You can bring a beer on a fishing trip without having to listen to it bitch about the mosquitoes.
After you've had a beer, it doesn't want to stay up all night talking about respect.
When you’re done with your beer it's O.K. to fall asleep.
A beer tastes good after 3 hours of tennis.
A beer won't slap you in the face for putting it between your legs at a drive-in movie.
A beer doesn't lock you out of the house because you had another beer at the company picnic.
Before you have a beer, you don't have to spend the evening pretending to be sensitive.
Beers don't complain about being fondled.
It's O.K. to share a beer with your friends.
A beer looks the same in the morning as it did when the bar closed.
You can have a beer on your lunch hour.
Beers don't notice if you've never had another beer before.
A beer will never ask you to pick up a box of tampons.
A beer will never turn your den into a sewing room, your bathroom into a laundry room, or your bedroom into a beauty parlor.
A beer will never change channels from "WWF Wrestling" to "General Hospital".
A beer won't claim to be on a diet then eat all the popcorn at the movies.
A beer won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your girlfriend comes over.
At a bar, a beer won't drop you for someone with an accent and a flashy outfit.
Beers don't expect you to be faithful. You can try as many other beers as you like.
You never have to convince a beer that you're working late.
You never have to take your beer shopping.
Finishing a beer in 3 seconds is something to be proud of!
A MOTORCYCLE IS BETTER THAN WOMEN BECAUSE:
You don't have to talk to your motorcycle after you ride it.
You can choke your motorcycle.
Your motorcycle doesn't get mad when you ignore it for a month or so.
Motorcycles don't get jealous if you come home with grease under your fingernails.
Motorcycles don't snore.
Your motorcycle won't wake you up at 3:00 AM and ask you if you love it.
Your motorcycle won't leave you for another rider.
You don't have to pay child support / alimony to an ex-motorcycle.
If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.
If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
It's always OK to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
Motorcycles don't have parents.
Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
Motorcycles last longer.
Motorcycles' curves never sag.
When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.
You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is REALLY worn.
Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
Your Motorcycle doesn't care what you're wearing when you take it out.
Motorcycles always sound pleasant.
